3 Struggles of Mine
I’ve just recently turned twenty, and I’ve definitely come along way from the awkward, self-conscious, apathetic high schooler I was two years ago, but I’ve still got a long ways to go. There comes a point where we’ve grown so much as a person and as a Christian where we can hardly recognize ourselves in the mirror. I had one of those moments a few weeks ago when I realized a good deal of the issues I had in the past were either gone or on their way out.
But one thing we should never assume is that we’re completed projects. Believe me, it can be tempting to think we’re done cooking after we’ve gone through so much, but we have so much left to learn. Jesus has so much to do in us. But He will finish what He started one day. 
I struggle with a good deal of things still. Here are the top three.
I’m often floating off in "Drew’s World", completely unaware of others around me and the influence I have on them. It’s not that I don’t care, I genuinely do, but for so long I’ve felt that I wasn’t good enough to speak into their lives, or that I wasn’t important enough to show interest. Or that they didn’t care enough about me, so I shouldn’t ‘show my cards’ and invest in them.
I’m past that now, but I still find myself in ‘Drew’s World’. I think we all have these moments, where we’re only focused on ourselves. But I want to love others well and genuinely. I want to be invested in others’ wellbeing, and add value to their lives. I know I do this already, but I’m learning to do it better.
In Philippians, Paul says to "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves" . And as we all know, Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less . I want to be so invested in the significance of others’ lives that I don’t spew my stuff onto them. I’ll be ready to listen well instead of thinking of what I’m going to say next.
Nobody likes confrontation or conflict. But it’s a part of life. So often, I find myself trying to avoid both, and be passive. I don’t like taking action or standing up to people. Usually what happens is I’ll put up with a conflict or avoid a confrontation until it’s absolutely necessary that it happens right now, and then it blows up into something huge that could’ve been dealt with gently and on a small scale. I’m learning how to be bold and stand up for what’s right, and do what needs to be done, but do so out of love and gentleness.
A speaker I heard at a retreat for leaders at my school said something a while back that resonated with me. He said that when we’re in an argument/debate/conflict/confrontation, our aim should never be to ‘win’ and show that we’re right/better/stronger/smarter, but instead to resolve the issue and restore or create a healthy relationship with that person.
"Win brothers not battles."
That’s stuck with me ever since, and I’m learning to be gentle in my approach to these situations, and speak the truth in love, and stand down when I’m wrong.
And that’s the last thing. I like to be right. I like to know the truth. I like to know the best about something. I like to know that I know that I know that I know that I’m right about something. And if I’m wrong, then I don’t like to admit it. I’ll try to concede my view, and qualify my stance. I’ll go down kicking and screaming.
But I’m learning to accept that I’m wrong about a lot of things. There’s so much to learn, and so many things to experience. I’ll never have to have it figured out. There are things I’ll never be an expert at, and that’s okay. I think that’s why God gives us other people who are interested in things we really don’t care for (even if we’d like to). We all have passions and areas of knowledge that others don’t. We all bring something to the table. I can’t expect to become some living encyclopedia and know-it-all (and I don’t think I’d like to be that anyways).
And there I am. I’m a broken human who everyday has to realize his weakness so he can let God be strong in that. This shows how much I need a guy like Jesus, who is strong and able. Like God told Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."